I always said to Jose that we had to have a girl. It didn’t matter to me if we had 5 boys first, we would have to keep trying until we got a girl. Growing up, I always pictured my future family as having a boy first, followed by a girl. I think this has to do with my childhood, since I am the second born and have an older brother. It was nice to always feel like someone was watching over me and protecting me, so of course I would want the same for my daughter. I wanted that, right up until the moment I became pregnant. I just got so scared of the idea of NOT having a daughter, that I wanted this baby to be a girl so bad. Whenever I explain this to people they don’t really understand. How could they? They don’t know the relationship that I have with my own mother like I do. The thought of not being able to create my own relationship and bond with a daughter was heartbreaking to me. The one that my mother and I have together is so important to me. We have such an open relationship that allows me to be able to talk to her about anything. Or I don’t even have to talk, she can tell how I’m feeling with just a glance at my face. It’s very comforting knowing that there is someone out there who knows you so well. Aside from all that sappy stuff, we also just have a good time together. I couldn’t even count the amount of times that we get into complete laughing fits, with tears streaming down our face. Most of the time it’s just me laughing at her and her silly ways, but still…we laugh. This is the kind of relationship I hope for my daughter and I. Full of laughter, trust and knowing.
Here is our little one at around 12 weeks.
Here she is at 20 weeks. Check out that spine!
Just for the record, it’s not to say that I wouldn’t have been just as happy if the baby turned out to be a boy, I would be. And since ultrasounds aren’t 100% accurate, there is still that chance! I am just thrilled beyond belief that I am being given the chance to mother a daughter. I really hope that I don’t mess it up… I’ve been watching way to much Dr. Phil lately, and one of this favourite sayings is that the biggest role model in your childs life is the same sex parent. So….no pressure, right?